Where do I start? I guess with the basics… Hi, I’m Deemster_Diva. Maybe you’ve seen me elsewhere on this world wide web, but the is my primary blog. Welcome! What do you need to know about me? Let’s see. I’m 35, live in Los Angeles, am a freelance writer (a recent career change after spending almost a decade in IT), I have a BA in writing and a AA in culinary arts, nothing in this world makes me happier than making fresh tracks after a huge dump on Mammoth Mountain, I’m 6 months smoke free after over 15 years of smoking (Yay!!), I’d spend my life on Phish tour if they only tour year round, I’ve got an awesome Coon Hound named Sweet Jane and as my blog title suggests,  I’m a heroin addict.

But don’t let my track marks fool you, I haven’t met a drug I haven’t liked. As my name infers, I’m a psychonaunt (DMT being my favorite but the almighty L doesn’t fall far behind). I also love mushrooms, 4-ACO-DMT, I love, love, love anything in the

The way I feel about just about everyone ;-)

The way I feel about just about everyone 😉

2c family, 2c-e, 2c-i, 2c-d, 2cb&. In my opinion it’s the best thing to come out of drug research in a long time! Obviously I’m a full blown junky. I’m a card carrying Medical Cannabis user and activist supporting the Compassionate Use Act of 1996, California Proposition 215. I’m a Research Chemical guinea pig. A pill popper. Tried my hand at selling ecstasy for a while, but consumed way more than I could keep in stock, topping out at 24 pills in 21 hours – I miss pressies, molly is crap (although I’ll do it in a pinch). I’ve gone through periods of loving dissociatives like Ketamine and MXE although that’s unfortunately a rare treat these days. For decades of my life, some would have called me an alcoholic. I have mostly put down the hooch for my beloved GHB. But I still do have a soft spot for a beer (or six) or a bottle of wine with dinner. As addicted as I am to substances, I’m almost equally addicted to the needle. I’ve IV’d pretty much every drug imaginable, heroin, meth, cocaine, MDMA, LSD, Mescaline, lots of pills. Although I’m much safer these days. I’ve cut out the pills entirely and always practice harm reduction with every single shot. One slip up and you could be risking your life. Harm reduction is more than a theory. It’s a way of life. And one that I hope all my fellow IV drug users take seriously.

Phish NYE 2011-2012

A pic of me NYE at a a Phish show it MSG.

But with all that drug consumption there is a darker side – addiction is inevitable, and unfortunately communicable diseases are common and when you have track marks like mine, societal prejudice is a daily occurrence. Besides my current mistress heroin, I’ve been addicted cocaine in all forms, benzos (two things I still dabble with) and am in recovery for an out of control addiction with Crystal Methamphetamine, which has been a reoccurring theme in my life. So in short, there isn’t a drug I haven’t met, and fallen in love with.

I don’t believe that just because I’m physically addicted to heroin that I must live the life of stereotypical junky. It’s all to common that addicts begin to believe the negative hype and start living a life in accordance to how society tells them they should live. Resorting to crime, unable to hold jobs, allowing their health to deteriorate, and worst of all, not practicing harm reduction or safe shooting practices. I have hit rock bottom and during that time lived that life, but for the majority of years I’ve used I’ve been gainfully employed, had a robust social life and maintained good relationships with my family.  I believe that it’s our societies fault that many addicts live that way. They are shut off from the rest of society, treated like street-scum, not cared for, outcast and degraded. But I refuse to let society tell me how I should live and I’m determined to have both a happy and successful life while addicted to heroin. It’s a constant struggle. Each day I have to remind myself what’s important and keep heroin in its place. It does have a tendency to make you believe it’s the most important thing in the universe, but it is not. It’s just a drug. As long as I keep that in mind, remind myself what rock bottom was like, put my family and loved ones before all else and not my career succumb to opiate apathy, then I can have the best of both worlds. Proving to the world that it is possible would be my ultimate triumph. But I’m far from saying “I’ve got this”. I know I could slip up any minute and before I realize it my life could be in shambles again. So for now, it’s one day at a time. Except for me, that means moderation 🙂 I believe that to be a Harm Reduction-Sharp Needlesresponsible drug user, one must be an educated drug user. I also love to study drugs, their history, production, cultural impact, societal stereotypes and prejudice and their effects human body, cross-interactions, bioavailabiliy and different RoA’s. But most importantly, harmreduction. As an active IV drug user, I practice harm reduction religiously each and every time I inject. My hope and my prayer is that we can get all addicts as equally dedicated to the cause. It’s the only way we’ll ever be able to show the world we’re responsible. No dirty needles on streets, no sharing needles, a clean needle with each use, Narcan in every home. It’s so critical to each user’s individual health and the health of the IV drug using community as a whole. I shared needles with one person in my life, my boyfriend for three years, who had only shared with one other person, his best friend. And now we all have Hepatitis C. It’s never okay to share. Not even one time. You just never know. I thought for sure, 100% that I wouldn’t get anything. But I’ve learned my lesson. One time and years of diligent harm reduction were washed down the drain. So please, please, please… practice harm reduction, support your local needle exchange, call for government funded programs, get involved and help America take care of its own people. We all deserve life.

But I’m not that one dimensional. I tend to obsess over many things, drugs, sex, socks, music, snowboarding, writing, whatever the flavor of the day is. I’m a die-hard Phish Phan for life and spend my summers on tour as much as possible.

But as much as I love Phish, variety is the spice of life. If you checked my iPod’s “most recent” playlist, it would probably be a sampling of Phish, STS9, The Disco Biscuits, Talking Heads, Umphrey’s McGee, Galactic, Lou Reed, The Rolling Stones, Galactic, Trombone Shorty, Wide Spread Panic, Zach Deputy, Block Head, Thievery Corporation, A Tribe Called Quest, The Roots, Bassnecter, Parliament-Funkadelic, Prince, George Clinton, Skrillex, Bruce Springsteen, Tom Waits, David Bowie, Depeche Mode, DJ Shadow, Primus, Big Gigantic,  Medeski Martin & Wood, Bootsy Collins, Dopapod, Diplimates of Solid Sound, Funkadelic, EOTO, Garage a Trois, Jimmy Hendrix, Billy Joel, Oysterhead, The Funky Meters, The New Mastersounds, Pretty Lights, Radio Head, Pink Flyod, The Smiths, Sublime, Tom Petty, Vida Blue, Warren Zevon, Muddy Waters and whatever most recent flavor of the month is.

DiamondThighHighOkay, let’s see… Drugs? Check. Rock n’ Roll? Check. Sex? (Do I really need to tell you I love sex? Chances are likely you’ve already seen more of me than I’d care to think about. Whateva, glow sticks are a girls best friend. That picture was fuckin’ hot.) Sex? Given. I believe the only other thing worth noting is that I have the worlds largest, most fabulous sock collection. Don’t believe me? Pft. Check out Sock Junky and Sock Junky II (or CLICK HERE for the still photographs) and get just a taste of my glorious sox – ’cause let’s face it, heels are soooo common. Give me a pair of crocheted thigh-highs any day of the week. The perfect ménage à trois of style, comfort and sex appeal.

Like my blog? Let me know! I’d love to hear from you. Are you a heroin or drug addict going through similar experiences? Reach out and get to know me. I love getting to know others who have had similar experiences in life. And please, check out all of my blog. There’s lots of fun things to look at and do. A video section, a humor section, lots of photographs, hiaku, quizes, music, heroin related games, news stories…. and the list goes on. Take a look around! I bet there’s a least enough material to keep you busy for a few hours during those slow times at work. It’s okay, I won’t tell 😉 My email address is posted below – drop me a line and introduce yourself!

❤ ☮ & ♪♫♪


11 thoughts on “About

  1. Damn ur fuckin crazy but in a good way i never seen a chick let alone a dude that is down for any and all drugs i mean im a straight trash can i do whatever whenever but your talking bout drugs i never even heard of. I wanna party wit you lol. No for real your website is cool and raw i like that

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ha! I do take pride in being an expert in the rarest of drugs 🙂 Thanks for the props! If you like this blog, you’ll love my current blog heroinismyheroin.com. Waaaaayyy more content, you can waste time for hours there 😉 Please feel free to re-post your comment there, or leave another one! I love all feedback from my readers!


  2. Hey I dig your balls. I am out in Broken Hill Australia and its all MS C. Check my blog. If your’e still alive maybe you can give some advice. Everythings’ collapsed and I am migrating to my feet. God damn painful. Also theres this amazing book called Oxy its on Lulu Press. Its by Andrew Spencer. Its a good read. There’s a E version too. Good luck sister cat


    • Lol, yes I’m still alive. Although Im pretty confused now. I don’t know how this site it still active. I thought the address automatically redirected to my current blog, but I’ve had two comments on it within the past week! I’d love it if you would re-post your comment on my current blog. heroinismyheroin.com

      It’s vastly improved with a shit ton more content. Hours of things to do, watch, listen to, play, read, argue about, learn from, yadda, yadda, yadda. You get the point. Hope to see you over there!

      Peace, Love & Rock ‘n Roll!


  3. Hey I was looking for your email or a way to get ahold of you. I was hoping we could have a little chat. Also heroinismyheroin seems like the domain needs to be renewed.


    • Thanks, I know. It expired when I went to jail and I haven’t been able to pay for the domain renewal fee yet. But I’m working on it. In the meantime, I have heroinismyheroin.wordpress.com almost completely up to date and will start posting new content in the next day or two, if not today. You can always reach out to me directly at deemsterdiva@gmail.com. I’m out of jail and fully available again! Thanks for reaching out!


  4. Nice blog. I just wanted to know what your experience if any is with purchasing BTH off Craigslist – roofing tar…. are they all narcs…? Seems way too easy…
    Also is it more economical- dang oxy getting $$… also don’t want to slam it…
    Not physically addicted either – just for every other weekend or so…


    • Welcome! I’m so glad you found my blog and decided to write in! First and foremost, I’m glad you recognize the risk involved in slamming oxytocin. Bad idea all around for so many reason, especially without a micron filter. You can find a thousand posts on any of the drug forums on how to make OP’s injectable, but they are taking huge unnecessary risks with their health and their lives. OP’s were made specifically as an injecting deterrent and no matter how hard you try, you’ll never be able to remove all of the harmful binders and time-release agents. And most of those fools don’t even bother removing those substances, they simply make them temporarily small enough to fit through the tip of a needle. Bad idea. Anyway, moving on… I actually wrote an “Ask a Junky” post on using Craigslist not too long ago. After the first post, Coincidentally, right after I published that post, I found myself in the predicament of having to use craigslist myself to cop in a strange area. So there’s also a follow up post describing that transaction. Perfect timing for my blog 🙂 When I was first trying to find a good dealer here in Los Angeles, I used craigslist quite a bit. It almost always worked out well for me. There was only two times that I had any problem at all, and both incidents were in the same day. I was sold brown paper bags soaked in water. When packaged (and even until being cooked) they felt exactly like the real deal. But both transactions were through completely separate people in completely different parts of town. It seemed extremely unlikely they had any interaction or knowledge with each other. So there was clearly a much larger, city-wide con afoot. But thankfully it was an isolated experience. I’ve never been confronted by law enforcement or set up for a sting or even straight up robbed. But I have heard of an account of strong armed robbery and even attempted rape from another craigslist user, so I know it does happen. Be smart and take precaution in any face-to-face transaction. I always carry a stun gun and pepper spray with me. (I even had to use it recently, although not on someone I met online.) Reddit, on the other hand, has the reverse track record. I’ve only seen con artists at work there, with the exception on one dealer I met when desperately searching for someone back home in the NJ/Philly area. He turned out to be super legit, with great prices and killer China. For years I used him anytime I went home to visit the family. It seems to me that if police are trolling craigslist, they’re probably targeting dealers, rather than the isolated, one-time buyer with no connections to turn on or leads to give them. It would be pretty shitty of the cops to go after someone like that. Not that I would put anything past them, but chances are they have bigger fish to fry. Of course, any illegal activity comes with inherent risk, so I would never say it’s completely safe. But I would say that the odds are stacked in your favor. Here are the links to the two posts I mentioned earlier. Feel free to reach out with any more questions or comments. And if you do go through with a purchase, write back and let us know the outcome! I’d definitely be interested to hear another readers experience! Ask a Junky: How to Score Drugs in a New City (HINT: Craigslist!) and UPDATE: Ask a Junky: Buying Drugs in a New City (HINT: Craigslist)

      Peace, Love and Rock ‘n Roll


  5. Craigslist can be dicey. But fortunately or unfortunately ( depending on how you look at it),l like yourself I have found it be reliable as a consumer and vendor. I liked your vignette, mine are no where near that detailed.. frankly, I feel foolish now that I think about it. Anyhoo, love what you got going on here (website). I bookmarked it so I can finish combing through the posts that sound like my inner monologue. I too, am a mainliner living in the So.Cal. Take care. Talk to you soon.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hey there! Thanks for the positive feedback! I love hearing when people get value from the content. It’s very gratifying and helps me validate all the hard work. And trust me, it’s a lot of work! There are so many things I want to add and changes to make it’s impossible to keep up. Feel free to drop me line whenev you feel like it! ♡ D_D


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