Where do I start? I guess with the basics… Hi, I’m Deemster_Diva. Maybe you’ve seen me elsewhere on this world wide web, but the is my primary blog. Welcome! What do you need to know about me? Let’s see. I’m 35, live in Los Angeles, am a freelance writer (a recent career change after spending almost a decade in IT), I have a BA in writing and a AA in culinary arts, nothing in this world makes me happier than making fresh tracks after a huge dump on Mammoth Mountain, I’m 6 months smoke free after over 15 years of smoking (Yay!!), I’d spend my life on Phish tour if they only tour year round, I’ve got an awesome Coon Hound named Sweet Jane and as my blog title suggests, I’m a heroin addict.
But don’t let my track marks fool you, I haven’t met a drug I haven’t liked. As my name infers, I’m a psychonaunt (DMT being my favorite but the almighty L doesn’t fall far behind). I also love mushrooms, 4-ACO-DMT, I love, love, love anything in the
2c family, 2c-e, 2c-i, 2c-d, 2cb&. In my opinion it’s the best thing to come out of drug research in a long time! Obviously I’m a full blown junky. I’m a card carrying Medical Cannabis user and activist supporting the Compassionate Use Act of 1996, California Proposition 215. I’m a Research Chemical guinea pig. A pill popper. Tried my hand at selling ecstasy for a while, but consumed way more than I could keep in stock, topping out at 24 pills in 21 hours – I miss pressies, molly is crap (although I’ll do it in a pinch). I’ve gone through periods of loving dissociatives like Ketamine and MXE although that’s unfortunately a rare treat these days. For decades of my life, some would have called me an alcoholic. I have mostly put down the hooch for my beloved GHB. But I still do have a soft spot for a beer (or six) or a bottle of wine with dinner. As addicted as I am to substances, I’m almost equally addicted to the needle. I’ve IV’d pretty much every drug imaginable, heroin, meth, cocaine, MDMA, LSD, Mescaline, lots of pills. Although I’m much safer these days. I’ve cut out the pills entirely and always practice harm reduction with every single shot. One slip up and you could be risking your life. Harm reduction is more than a theory. It’s a way of life. And one that I hope all my fellow IV drug users take seriously.
But with all that drug consumption there is a darker side – addiction is inevitable, and unfortunately communicable diseases are common and when you have track marks like mine, societal prejudice is a daily occurrence. Besides my current mistress heroin, I’ve been addicted cocaine in all forms, benzos (two things I still dabble with) and am in recovery for an out of control addiction with Crystal Methamphetamine, which has been a reoccurring theme in my life. So in short, there isn’t a drug I haven’t met, and fallen in love with.
I don’t believe that just because I’m physically addicted to heroin that I must live the life of stereotypical junky. It’s all to common that addicts begin to believe the negative hype and start living a life in accordance to how society tells them they should live. Resorting to crime, unable to hold jobs, allowing their health to deteriorate, and worst of all, not practicing harm reduction or safe shooting practices. I have hit rock bottom and during that time lived that life, but for the majority of years I’ve used I’ve been gainfully employed, had a robust social life and maintained good relationships with my family. I believe that it’s our societies fault that many addicts live that way. They are shut off from the rest of society, treated like street-scum, not cared for, outcast and degraded. But I refuse to let society tell me how I should live and I’m determined to have both a happy and successful life while addicted to heroin. It’s a constant struggle. Each day I have to remind myself what’s important and keep heroin in its place. It does have a tendency to make you believe it’s the most important thing in the universe, but it is not. It’s just a drug. As long as I keep that in mind, remind myself what rock bottom was like, put my family and loved ones before all else and not my career succumb to opiate apathy, then I can have the best of both worlds. Proving to the world that it is possible would be my ultimate triumph. But I’m far from saying “I’ve got this”. I know I could slip up any minute and before I realize it my life could be in shambles again. So for now, it’s one day at a time. Except for me, that means moderation 🙂 I believe that to be a responsible drug user, one must be an educated drug user. I also love to study drugs, their history, production, cultural impact, societal stereotypes and prejudice and their effects human body, cross-interactions, bioavailabiliy and different RoA’s. But most importantly, harmreduction. As an active IV drug user, I practice harm reduction religiously each and every time I inject. My hope and my prayer is that we can get all addicts as equally dedicated to the cause. It’s the only way we’ll ever be able to show the world we’re responsible. No dirty needles on streets, no sharing needles, a clean needle with each use, Narcan in every home. It’s so critical to each user’s individual health and the health of the IV drug using community as a whole. I shared needles with one person in my life, my boyfriend for three years, who had only shared with one other person, his best friend. And now we all have Hepatitis C. It’s never okay to share. Not even one time. You just never know. I thought for sure, 100% that I wouldn’t get anything. But I’ve learned my lesson. One time and years of diligent harm reduction were washed down the drain. So please, please, please… practice harm reduction, support your local needle exchange, call for government funded programs, get involved and help America take care of its own people. We all deserve life.
But I’m not that one dimensional. I tend to obsess over many things, drugs, sex, socks, music, snowboarding, writing, whatever the flavor of the day is. I’m a die-hard Phish Phan for life and spend my summers on tour as much as possible.
But as much as I love Phish, variety is the spice of life. If you checked my iPod’s “most recent” playlist, it would probably be a sampling of Phish, STS9, The Disco Biscuits, Talking Heads, Umphrey’s McGee, Galactic, Lou Reed, The Rolling Stones, Galactic, Trombone Shorty, Wide Spread Panic, Zach Deputy, Block Head, Thievery Corporation, A Tribe Called Quest, The Roots, Bassnecter, Parliament-Funkadelic, Prince, George Clinton, Skrillex, Bruce Springsteen, Tom Waits, David Bowie, Depeche Mode, DJ Shadow, Primus, Big Gigantic, Medeski Martin & Wood, Bootsy Collins, Dopapod, Diplimates of Solid Sound, Funkadelic, EOTO, Garage a Trois, Jimmy Hendrix, Billy Joel, Oysterhead, The Funky Meters, The New Mastersounds, Pretty Lights, Radio Head, Pink Flyod, The Smiths, Sublime, Tom Petty, Vida Blue, Warren Zevon, Muddy Waters and whatever most recent flavor of the month is.
Okay, let’s see… Drugs? Check. Rock n’ Roll? Check. Sex? (Do I really need to tell you I love sex? Chances are likely you’ve already seen more of me than I’d care to think about. Whateva, glow sticks are a girls best friend. That picture was fuckin’ hot.) Sex? Given. I believe the only other thing worth noting is that I have the worlds largest, most fabulous sock collection. Don’t believe me? Pft. Check out Sock Junky and Sock Junky II (or CLICK HERE for the still photographs) and get just a taste of my glorious sox – ’cause let’s face it, heels are soooo common. Give me a pair of crocheted thigh-highs any day of the week. The perfect ménage à trois of style, comfort and sex appeal.
Like my blog? Let me know! I’d love to hear from you. Are you a heroin or drug addict going through similar experiences? Reach out and get to know me. I love getting to know others who have had similar experiences in life. And please, check out all of my blog. There’s lots of fun things to look at and do. A video section, a humor section, lots of photographs, hiaku, quizes, music, heroin related games, news stories…. and the list goes on. Take a look around! I bet there’s a least enough material to keep you busy for a few hours during those slow times at work. It’s okay, I won’t tell 😉 My email address is posted below – drop me a line and introduce yourself!
❤ ☮ & ♪♫♪